Do you know how powerful you are?

Oh my, oh my, oh my! I have been SO tempted this week to slide down the slippery slope of:

• Snark;

• Vitriol;

• Incivility;

• Sticking out my tongue while shaking my head back-and-forth

You get the picture, right? And, unless you’re reading this two years down the pike, my above-mentioned behaviors all refer to the sad chaos (across both aisles) of choosing a Speaker of the House this week. Whew.

(Shaking my head again.)

My us vs. them dynamics were stirred up, big time, as each person pointed an accusatory finger at others. Judging from online news, friends, the cashiers at both the gas station and pharmacy I frequent, my behaviors described above (you know - snark and company) were rampant across all divides. Should I be happy that snark and vitriol became equal opportunity behaviors? At least no one seemed left out….

Not happy, in the least. Why, may I inquire? Social Contagion. Wait, wait are we talking the same language? If it’s about Covid and contagion, let’s discuss something else.

Not Covid, I promise.

So what ARE we talking about?

Social contagion involves peoples’s behaviors and emotions spreading spontaneously through a group or network, like a contagion. Both constructive and destructive emotions can be propelled by social contagion (aka, folks like you and me.) Spreading joy. Spreading anger. (Your choice.)

Brass tacks, time. How the heck does the spread of this social contagion stuff work? Hey, it’s wintertime, so let’s make constructive use of the flu as an analogy, without catching it, of course. Person-to-person contagion facilitates the spread of flu AND both negative and positive emotions, as well. Example: I make an angry comment to you and, likely, the next person with whom you come in contact also receives a whiplash from that anger. Dominoes falling - one by one by one, each impacted by the last domino. With social contagion, you’re more powerful than you know - we’re all carriers with superspreader powers.

So here I am, like many, many others, streaming the Speaker of the House turmoil, hearing both parties just lay into each other in no uncertain terms. Ouch. My shoulders rose toward my ears, teeth bared (not a pretty sight), beginning to feel pretty pessimistic about humankind.

Suddenly, I received a phone call. A nonprofit I generally support was asking for MORE support. Grrrr. I was very abrupt (OK, abrasive) with the solicitor. Felt ashamed of myself when I hung up. I make every effort to avoid treating others with incivility. Why? I’ve read all the scary research about how easily incivility spreads from one person to another, poisoning the next person’s behavior and just passing that incivility on, person-to-person.

Yes, of course, I also hear thoughts in my mind that, shall we say, fall deeply into the realm of incivility. (I’m human, I’m human!) However, I can certainly make choices about expressing them, knowing full-well the power of social contagion in our society. The idea of being a superspreader of incivility and insults leaves me feeling sad.

I’m learning to speak my perception of truth, as much as possible, without poison darts. I do not want to perceive myself as an incivility carrier, spreading verbal contagion and deeply minimizing the humanity of others. Republican, Democrat, Independent, I don’t care, this is not the person I want to be.

To end on an upbeat note, kindness and civility are spread in exactly the same way incivility is. I know what kind of carrier I choose to be…

🥳 Hey, friends, speaking of social contagion, I’d be grateful if you’d share “This Being Human Thing,” with others who might appreciate it.