World peace at the checkout counter
Who is this person? You know, the one whose unsolicited kind words, to others, I’m hearing, but with the sounds emanating from the vicinity of my own mouth? OMG, I’m that person!
Affirmative.
I’m the one buzzing from person to person offering unsolicited (but, sweet) comments to people I don’t know? Bantering like a standup comedian (which, let’s face it, I’m not) with these same unknown folks? Is this an unexpected reincarnation wherein I died and was reborn so quickly that most folks, including me, missed the transition?
Nope. But believe it, or not my, shall we say, interesting behavior is allowing greater adherence to a longtime, but very challenging personal value. A value that has, all-too-often, been short-circuited by my life-long capacity for rapid judgments of others.
And the value is?
“Only connect” from E.M. Forster, a 20th century English novelist. (My high school English teacher, wherever she is, would be wildly cheering.)
That’s nice, but what does “only connect” mean?
OK, let’s get the stuffy part out of the way first and then segue to my colloquial version.
Only connect: the importance of connection between people, across all sorts of barriers, including race, class, and beliefs. Or, since I tend to prefer spiffy little nuggets of wisdom, bridge-building between people by being kind. (A little dorky-sounding, but much easier to remember, don’t you think?)
Wait, wait, what about your aforementioned “enormous capacity for judging others?” You know, that perennial obstacle to bridge-building. Is it not an important piece of this discussion? A deal breaker?
Oh god, you would remember…
Yes, it’s true, I am a constitutional judger, probably inherent in my family’s DNA. Hope lives, however. I’m learning to bypass my overt judgment tic.
Wow! Really?
Really! Hope does abound (mostly.)
Concerning my built-in constitutional judgment-making reflex, here’s the skinny. My personal Cliffs Notes version of slowing the reflex is: kindness nurtures other folks, serves as a bridge-builder, helping my reflexive judgments to go “poof!”
Oh my, that’s a bit trite, isn’t it? Bordering on plain ordinary. Where’s the excitement, the panache, the world peace as mentioned in the title?
Geez, you’re asking a lot.
Plain ‘ol kindness spreads through an environs like smooth honey. My judgments are sidetracked when, with kindness, I build a bridge to another. I can sense the approach of a judgment (oh, no!) and quickly segue to “only connect” instead. And, let’s face it, I also get high when offering kindness. (There isn’t anything wrong with that, is there?)
Oh, you want examples? Passing a cashier, who’s filling a grocery bag, and complimenting him on his unique haircut. Not sure I really like the haircut, but clearly, getting it was meaningful to him. So why not? Big smile in return. Me, too. Bet he passes that smile on to other customers. Ta-dah! Bridge-building.
You’re smart. You get the gist.
Smiling when I reached my car, unloaded the groceries, and continued right on smiling when I returned the shopping cart to the store. Wow, that smile was still in evidence as my car and I toddled home.
World peace? Probably not, but seeding its ground, beginning with a shopping visit, is a step in the right direction.