How I get high….

Photo by Ross Sokolovski on Unsplash

Let’s be clear, I am not referring to any illegal substances, solely the outcome of being nice. Unless, of course, being nice has fallen into unlawful territory. It hasn’t, has it?

Whew, what a relief. In the words of my Yiddish forebears, being nice is kosher. In today’s idiom, kosher could also be called “cool.” Pretty straightforward.

If it’s that straightforward, why should I spend time writing a piece on “being nice?” Isn’t being nice self-evident? C’mon…

Well, yeah, being nice is self-evident, but not always possible.

What the heck do you mean by that? First, you’re legitimizing “nice“ and then saying it’s not always possible? I’m truly confused.

Know anything about biology?

Um, very little

Know what it means?

It means a course I did not want to take in high school!😉

Ok, ok, enough with being a wise ass. I’m asking a serious question.

Ooo la!

Back to being serious, says she, wiping the smile off her face.

“Biology describes states that occur in the bodies and cells of living things.”

Well, that’s nice. So what?

Dear, dear Jan, what is it with your smart-ass remarks tonight??

Huh? Most likely, too much chocolate. I’m a chocolate-loving human who finds herself in extreme edginess after consuming (too much) chocolate.

Ahhhhh…..now I understand! And, thank you, since you’ve just shared an evocative example of how your fave, chocolate, biologically impacts “the states that occur in your body.”

I have?

Yep. That delicious and alluring substance, chocolate (filled with caffeine!), appears to impact your niceness.You tend to veer in the unaccustomed direction of being hurtfully snarky when that’s usually not your value.

But, I’m also funny. Please don’t forget funny.

Hmmm…. I’ve noticed you’ve been able to exhibit a sense of humor in the past, but without the current tinge of, possibly, hurtful snarkiness.

Oh. Ouch. I hate being called on stuff, but you got me.

But, hey, let’s add some daylight to this discussion.

Daylight?

Understanding. You ready?

OK.

We arise in the morning, in most cases, with a relatively full tank of self-discipline for living into our values. Right? Then we begin using that fuel for choosing to express our values as we progress through the day. We can only exert so much willpower…make only so many decisions before we exhaust our day’s content. We go on autopilot until we can replenish by morning.

Autopilot leads me to greater temptations and less willpower. Such as eating lots of chocolate, maybe even the whole chocolate bar, replete with its 3 servings.😳. You already know what happens then. A smart-aleck emerges whose expressed value of niceness quickly diminishes. And-I-don’t-like-it.

Oh, my! What’s a human who cares about her values to do in the face of biologically-driven rhythms and diminishing willpower?

Stop. A healthy stop. Let me reframe (I love the word “reframe” for whatever reason.) This little educational tour you’ve just (forcibly?) taken me on lets me know my biological rhythms change as I reach the evening. My fuel tank of self -discipline diminishes and my capacity to live into my values also decreases. I’m certainly not being a “bad girl.” I am, however, a tired one whose ability to apply my values is reduced. In a return to 1960’s lingo, you grok this? (Look it up!)

I can’t stop the alteration in my biological rhythms as the day progresses, but I sure as heck can remember those rhythms change with the diminishing of my inner fuel allotment. And sometimes those changes don’t serve me, or others, well. I like my values as much as I do my chocolate, no doubt about it. However, maybe I’ll only consume 1&1/2 servings of chocolate next time (out of three), making me happy AND nice. Good deal!

(Thanks, Sudie.)