This Being Human Thing
I lean into the hopeful belief that a massive continuity of goodness can flow through the world. A great and empowering vision for spreading outer goodness. But, then, there’s my own personal reality check. The unfettered thoughts that pass through my mind, then escape through my lips, unchanged, and with a verbal acid residue. Words that would be unlikely candidates for a massive continuity of goodness. Very unlikely…
Let’s face it, as a challenged and imperfect human being, sometimes I’d rather just spit out my unfettered thoughts without checking for their goodness quotient. (You, too?) So much easier. And, gosh, my little sarcastic verbal jabs about others tend to be funny and attention-getting (which, imperfect human that I am, offers me more opportunity to be in the spotlight.) My periodic denigrating thoughts which turn into remarks about others tend to fall into one or both of the following categories: 1) sarcastic and attention-getting; 2) an opportunity to share my story regarding why I’m right and the person I’m describing is wrong.
So there!
OK, that was my inner 5-year-old speaking and sticking her tongue out. Since her behavior doesn’t further this discussion, let see if I can bump up in age before we go further.
(Hopefully back to age-appropriate.)
Let's be truthful. Can I ever expect solidly pristine inner thoughts? NO! My mind is like an artist’s palette. The colors are often just thrown on the canvas as depictions of roller-coaster emotions. However, much of what finally passes through my lips, like my putative paintings, has been shaped to reflect life’s wholeness. Not just the random or slapdash paint dabs of a singular and chaotic moment. Oh, yes, no denying chaos, is there? But I do have the choice of shaping those putative paintings (whoops, words) to be descriptive of chaos, but inclusive of a life more whole. This intended wholeness of expression is undergirded by my deep belief in a possible massive continuity of goodness spreading among us.
Do I accomplish this perfectly? You’ve got to be kidding! Of course not. My yearning for attention occasionally pops up with a sarcastic verbal jab. However, I can honestly say that my outward and expressed palette of colors is calmer these days, with fewer of those red spikes that lead to verbal acid residue. Growing into wholeness, and it ain’t easy, but oh-so worth it.
My judgments about others, voiced to friends (I’m right and you’re not!), are now more subject to internal inquiry prior to escaping my lips. Internal inquiry? Am I hangry? (Hungry and angry.) Am I tired? What do I need right now that amounts to self-care, providing me with greater grounding for seeing wholeness in others? We’re all finding our way.
What can I say? This being human thing….you been there?
Thanks for the fun and introspective read.
I too have an inner 5 year old, however what seems to come through the cartoon bubble over my head--with the often times humorous sarcastic wit--is from my dear departed parents. Especially Dad--in the voice of that 5 year old.
Both of them were very quick on the uptake, so one tried to not leave too many doors open when in their company lest one of them step through with an attention getting joke at your expense.
They grew up in a generation of children that were navigating the end days of the Great Depression. Compliments were hard to come by, but reprimands were dealt out a dime a dozen.
What, me judgmental? I dare anyone to say they don’t judge. Our days are filled with them from making the proper judgment of what clothes to wear, what food to consume, to the knee jerk reaction of flipping someone off on the highway. Too bad we can’t all be Jesus or Buddha on any given day, all day. My halo hangs forgotten and dusty on my bedpost.
(Note to self--put it on after brushing teeth!) 😇