This being human thing….

Photo by Didssph on Unsplash

I lean into the hopeful belief that a massive continuity of goodness can flow through the world. A great and empowering vision for spreading outer goodness. But, then, there’s my own personal reality check. The unfettered thoughts that pass through my mind and then escape through my lips, unchanged, with a verbal acid residue. Words that would be unlikely candidates for a massive continuity of goodness. Very unlikely…

Let’s face it, as a challenged and imperfect human being, sometimes I’d rather just spit out my unfettered thoughts without checking for their goodness quotient. (You, too?) So much easier. And, gosh, my little sarcastic verbal jabs about others tend to be funny and attention-getting (which, imperfect human that I am, I do like.) My periodic denigrating thoughts which turn into remarks about others, tend to fall into one or both of the following categories: 1) funny, sarcastic, AND attention-getting; 2) an opportunity to share my story regarding why I’m right and the person I’m describing is not.

So there!

OK, that was my inner 5-year-old speaking and sticking her tongue out. Since her behavior doesn’t further this discussion, let me see if I can bump up in age before we go further. 😉

(Hopefully back to age-appropriate.) Let's be truthful, can I EVER expect solidly pristine inner thoughts that emulate Pollyanna in sweetness? NO! (Gives me the willies even thinking about it!) My mind is like an artist’s palette in that every single color is cleared for expression on my internal palette. The colors are often just thrown on the canvas as reflections of my roller-coaster emotions. However, much of what finally passes through my lips has been painted over with an eye to the wholeness of the painting. Of the colors initially thrown on the canvas, some are painted over and others blend into the wholeness of expression for which I’m aiming. And that wholeness of expression is undergirded by my belief in a massive continuity of good.

Do I accomplish this perfectly? You’ve got to be kidding! Of course not. My yearning for attention does occasionally pop out with a sarcastic verbal jab. However, I can honestly say that my outward and expressed palette of colors is calmer these days, with fewer of those red spikes that lead to verbal acid residue. Whew!

And my judgments about others voiced to friends (I’m right and you’re not!) are now subject to personal internal inquiry prior to escaping through my lips (hopefully.) Internal inquiry? Am I hangry? (hungry and angry.) Am I tired? What do you need right now, Jan, that amounts to self-care? And more…

What can I say? This being human thing…

❤️ I’d be very grateful if you’d consider sharing “This Being Human Thing.” Who couldn’t use more heart and humor?