Are you fallible? Now, be honest…

On a late Saturday morning, I was participating in a Zoom workshop. Suddenly, there was some serious pounding at my door. And I do mean serious POUNDING! Being quite reactive to loud noises, I quickly slipped into fight/flight mode, threw down my laptop, and began rushing toward the door. Did not make it. In my haste, I tripped over a leg of the ottoman in front of me and fell on my dominant right arm. Broken.

And now, I was newly splinted and virgin to the world of having no right hand to do….

JUST

ABOUT

ANYTHING.

Victimhood becomes so seductive at junctures like this. (Doesn’t it?) I used to be a veritable wonder at expressing my victimhood. Totally in the “oh, wow” category. “OMG, OMG, LOOK what happened to me!!!” (Wait, wait, is this something about which to be proud?) The joy of adding a few more years has brought the realization that victimhood can be incredibly toxic to my mental health and, oh yes, to those having to listen to me - again, again, and again.

Considerably more victimhood-averse and aware now, so that when asked about my broken arm, I’d sagely reply, “I wasn’t being mindful of where I was going.” Sounded pretty cool, right, especially since mindfulness is so au courant these days? Yay, me! Leaning into mindfulness as a lesson from breaking my arm. You go, girl! Five gold stars….

Then along comes my wise friend, Karen. Having heard my mindfulness response, she commented that I made the broken arm episode sound like a moral failure (I wasn’t mindful!! Oh no, what kind of human am I, not-being-mindful?!) Ooops. Initially defensive, I had to admit she was right. Startled by the loud pounding at my door, I tripped over an ottoman in my haste to find out what the heck was going on. Not so much lacking in mindfulness, but scared into fight/flight mode by the frenzied knocking.

Instead of self-flagellation for not being appropriately mindful, how ‘bout just allowing myself to be vulnerable and share my tripping foible with all of you other fallible humans? (Just checking; you are fallible, right?) I’m sure none of you, given the impetus of fear, have ever tripped, been clumsy, or caused accidental damage to yourselves?

Now, here’s a thought. Offering myself overt kindness for having been a panicked human being who tripped and broke my arm. Absolutely no shame entailed. None. Just transparently and fallibly human, yet still a whole being at the same time. It can be done and as a result, this fallible and vulnerable human is now off to find Rumi at the playground. Join me?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
There is a field. I'll meet you there.”

~Rumi

Originally posted in a different form, July, 2022.