Staying Afloat Counts….

Photo by Syed Ahmad on Unsplash

Oh, geez, here it comes! The SHOULD buggy rides again. (I should this, I should that.) Of course, let’s be honest, the should buggy provides an equal opportunity ride for all of us. (Should I be happy about this?) Have you never taken a ride in the should buggy? If not, please share with the rest of us whatever elixir you employ to dissolve your shoulds.

My particular choices for de-shoulding elixirs include: therapy, Al-Anon, loving friends, standing on my head, and considerable chocolate consumption. However, as much as I hate making this admission, whenever the “shoulds“ volume gets turned up, there are lurking lessons to be learned.

Did I just hear some whispers from the peanut gallery? Yes? You, too, continue to wrestle with should-itis? Hallelujah! I’m not alone! Paraphrasing that classic movie, Ghostbusters, “Who you gonna call? SHOULD BUSTERS?” (Wait, wait, I’ve already been in therapy.)

Brass tacks time, folks. Shoulds are emotionally corrosive, tiring, can facilitate the wearing of dental night guards (which are not cheap!), and, well, as they say, the beat goes on.

Oh no, I’m tumbling down the rabbit hole of my shoulds. Stop! Stop! I don’t want to do this. Hey, what about those  potential “lurking lessons” mentioned above which can accrue from a should plague? Point made.

Time to stop for a moment and take the temperature of what I’ve written thus far. Irritable, frustrated, a tad angry, and humor-filled (thank heavens, for that, at least.) No mention, however, of kindness. Um, kindness? To myself? Yes, kindness and (here’s another good one) acceptance of the challenging growth journey of being human, waylaid with shoulds (and more shoulds, ad infinitum.)

This growth path of being human continues to test us in opening our hearts to ourselves and, yes, others. (Difficult when my tendency is to be self-judgmental regarding should reoccurrences.) Just another lifelong challenge to grow that becomes increasingly mixed with lovingkindness to ourselves as we find the compass north to wholeness. This being human thing ain’t easy and self-kindness is a vital ingredient for the journey, rather like yeast, helping us rise (even when “shoulding!”)

I love you, Jan, replete with all your shoulds!