‘Round about 2015, civility in public dialogue took a nose dive into the putative dung heap. Toxic dialogue can be thick enough to cut with a butter knife. My personal response has been repeated gulps of Pepto Bismol, sizable amounts of dark chocolate, or picking-my-poison-for-the-day.
Ugh. (I know I’m in trouble when my summation of a difficult issue is the monosyllabic, “Ugh.”)
Nonetheless, returning our focus to civility, or more accurately, incivility. We have a surprise guest joining us today! Ready? ‘Immunity!’
Totally lost me. Immunity to what?
Immunity to incivility.
No way! Wait, really? You’re serious?
I am. Sadly so.
An explanation, please.
OK. I’m doing a mini-dive (hold your breath) into neuroplasticity. It’ll be over quickly AND then you’ll know something new and…unbelievable.
What if I told you that each and every time every we witness verbal offensiveness, nastiness, yep, downright incivility, we actually become more immune to it. More immune? In plain language, we are impacted less and less by it. And here comes the kicker (No!), uncivil social discourse then becomes the norm for us. The norm!
And the reason incivility becomes the norm? Our brains are doing it to us. Our brains, for heaven’s sake! (Boo, hiss!) That neuroplasticity stuff I mentioned a minute ago - that’s the vehicle for reinforcing incivility in our behavior. Our brains are constantly rewiring themselves, changing in the direction of what we do most and that to which we give our primary attention.
How many times did our parents or teachers tell us that “practice makes perfect?” (I’m long beyond counting.) And any behavior we do over and over (and over), inclusive of feeling, thinking, speaking, becomes easier each time and more the norm. How did you learn the piano? Cursive handwriting (does that still exist?) Speaking in public? Inclusive in all of these actions is - neuroplasticity at work. Yes, indeedy, our brains are hard at work, identifying what we do again and again, and rewiring our little synapses in that direction!
Stop! Please stop! (Where’s the Pepto Bismol?) You mean incivility becomes easier and more routine each time we experience saying or hearing it? Over time, we become more and more immune to the impacts of incivility? In a word, “yes.”
Need a breathing break…
Oh, but NOW, we’ve reached the cliffhanger…
Cliffhanger? What the heck?
Cliffhanger. You know, “a story with a strong element of suspense.” And that’s exactly our dilemma. What’s going to happen next? We’re each better aware of our power to impact our lovely brains in a one direction or another, especially in social discourse. The change agent for these directional moves is where we place our personal attention (again and again) on a regular basis. Do I care one whit about developing immunity to incivility? OMG, you betcha! Directionally, how do I wish to continue rewiring my healthy little brain synapses? North, South, East or West? Paging my personal intentions! Paging my personal intentions! Step right up and make yourself known. (See what I mean by “cliffhanger?”)
And, of course, at the end of a cliffhanger, you’ll read or hear, “stay tuned.” Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that you’re the major actor in this particular cliffhanger and it’s now your move?
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Major actor? Yep! Also the writer and producer. All the world is but a stage and ye all actors-I paraphrased.
How can we change the scrip? And how long would it take us old dogs to learn new tricks?
Maybe I can be more observant of what passes through my synapses?
Interesting post--food for serious thought.
Thank you!