You didn’t! (I did.)

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

It was one of those days. Had a phone conversation and heard words pop out of my mouth that left me feeling startled. “What did I say?! I didn’t really say that, did I?”

I DID, somehow having breeched my “do you really want to say this” sentry. (Was she asleep?) Do I fall back on my oft-used excuse, “I’m human?” Is being human a permission slip to verbally treat another person or thing as beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving of scorn? (Ms. Sentry, are you listening?)

I have strong feelings about the power of words and their capacity to support or hurt others. Strong feelings. Words of contempt seem to reign supreme these days on social media, in letters to the editor, on TV. Oodles of contempt, spread widely across  the belief spectrum. I find it downright painful to see and hear how we, humans, consciously do this to each other.

This?? What’s the “this?” We denigrate, disrespect, disparage, depreciate and verbalize contempt for others.

Oh, that. Ouch.

And it’s contagious.

Wait, wait, haven’t we heard enough about contagion to last a lifetime? Oh no, do I really want to hear this?!

You’re a big girl now, Jan - you can do it!

Proceeding….

Contempt is, indeed, contagious, like the flu. (Dare I even mention Covid?) It can spread from one person to the next, often based on just one exposure. And that one exposure, just that one exposure to contempt, can influence and promote my hostile behavior toward others. Eeek!  “We each have a much bigger effect on one another’s emotions than we might think .”

Stop! Stop! I really, really don’t want to hear more about this! Who the heck wants to carry responsibility as a serial carrier of the contempt virus?

Ah, there’s hope, truly. The c-word, contempt, has held center stage thus far. I’d like to introduce another prime player, another c-word, on center stage. Choice.

There is one thing I do know. I can make the choice, instance by instance, not to be a purveyor of contempt. Oh, yes, I’ll still be human and hear occasional denigrating and scornful comments in my mind.  (Oh, heck, my humanity is always a work in progress.) Nonetheless, I want and need to exist, reasonably well, within my own skin. Being a serial carrier of harsh verbal or written contempt is something with which I don’t wish to live. So there!