Oh gosh, that c-word…

The c-word and I had an encounter. C-word? I bet you can figure it out - you’re savvy. (Just keep reading.) As a result, I have check-ups with the same wonderful medical team several times a year. Let’s be honest, I love my team and dread the check-ups. As a world-class worrier (easily gold medal-worthy), from the moment I enter the facility, I’m conjuring, conjuring, conjuring ALL the negative possibilities. So human….so creative.

HOWEVER, using my creativity in a different manner (yay!), I also made a conscious effort to empower myself from the get-go. I perceived this as a journey, not just a c-diagnosis.  What could I learn from this new and changing landscape? How was my human-ness being impacted and changed? I didn’t want to reduce this journey to the lowest common denominator: “Let’s put the entire focus on Jan’s dis-ease.” No, it’s a human journey that happens to entail the c-word.

“Words are energy, use them wisely.” I wanted my language to reflect the trajectory forward. My use of “cancer,” “disease,” “chemo”, and other variations on that theme, contracted my shoulders, tightened my chest, and left my jaws feeling clamped shut. Ouch. Was this good for a body, specifically my body, on a healing journey? No. But, hey, they’re my words and I can change them, right? So I did.

Yes, our words can be toxic, but I’m betting you already know that. However, there are empowering word choices available to all of us.  I started noticing which words on this c-journey left my body feeling contracted and tense. How might I choose words that felt more ALIVE or at least words that didn’t leave me feeling bunched up inside?

I characterized chemotherapy as treatment, a more neutral term, and, of course, I’ve already mentioned my change to the c-word. It felt freeing to reframe these words (chemo, cancer, etc.) in a direction that was more healing for me. Not avoidance, simply using different words to empower my body and spirit on this journey.

And, oh yes, “dis-ease.” (Is there an emoji for sticking out one’s tongue, as in “yuck, what a bad taste?”) Having crossed over to the actual experience of the c-word, the view was now very different.  A solicitous question such as “How’s your dis-ease?” felt as if my unique human journey was entirely reduced to JUST a diagnosis. Whole human here! Whole human here!

What might I say to someone, today, who has received a c-diagnosis? “Hey, talk to me about your life, including where you are physically, if you so choose.” I don’t think there’s a perfect conversational template. I just know from my own experience that I don’t want my wholeness reduced to being seen and described solely as a diagnosis. Ixnay. Absolutely ixnay. (Medical practitioners, hope you’re reading this…)

OMG, I got serious with this post! Hey, life happens and needs to be acknowledged. Part and parcel of this being human thing, you know?

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