Embodying my life as a Christmas tree and a Menorah
What? Life as a Christmas tree and Menorah? Are you performing in a play for your neighborhood? Feeling a belated Halloween urge to play dress up?
Nope, none of the above. Good try, however. I’m feeling Seasonal. Bright lights, unconsciously, flickering on in my psyche.
Oh, you want to know the origin story of this tale. I had no particular intention of embodying a lit up Menorah or Christmas tree. None. It snuck up on me. Just like that.
While doing my daily human things, you know, shopping, getting gas, activities of daily living, as framed in medical world parlance, I observed a change in my behavior. Nothing big, at least I didn’t think so. Oddly, my tone of voice, when interacting with others. had reached the point of sounding, of all things, jolly.
Me?
Why?
Great question. Why, that is. Where did this non Jan-like, jolly, lit-up, factor originate? I only allow myself one cup of coffee a day, not enough to hit the jolly or lit up range. Was it the forbidden chocolate Snickers bar I really shouldn’t have eaten? What, for heaven’s sakes?
Ahhhhh. I got it. It was the grocery store Christmas tree. A Christmas tree dressed in ornaments, requesting holiday meal donations for others. A stark reminder for me that this Season of Light is not that for everyone.
A high bar is often set for the Season. A high bar composed of cheer, delight, family, gift-giving, and connection:
“What are you doing for the holidays?”
“Staying in town?”
“My whole family is here. We’ll just be going house to house, celebrating with each other.”
And the sharing of delight goes on, in the mutual expectation that everyone else will be experiencing the same Seasonal Light you will.
I wish. Ironically, this time of year, literally, the darkest time of year, can bring sadness, loneliness, and alienation for some. Folks who aren’t blessed with family, close friendships, the expected accoutrements of Seasonal cheer. I’ve been there and I’m guessing that some of you, in one form or another, have also experienced a disconnection from our expected Seasonal culture. A significant ouch.
No personal judgments of those who feel disconnected. Most often, simply a result of life’s circumstances. Painful, nonetheless.
And my jolly, lit up, persona? A constructive reaction to my periodic memories of Seasonal disconnection. We’re all human and vulnerable. (You do know that, right?)
I’ll continue expending, big-time, verbal cheer. Lighting others up, making sure folks feel seen, sharing joy at being in their presence. My own fully lit and, internalized, Menorah and Christmas tree are throwing off connective light, in every direction. Zing! Zing, again! In all honesty, a high for me, as well. (Nothing wrong with that, is there?)
Hey, want to meet me at the grocery store, gas station, pharmacy, ad infinitum….and we can verbally confetti-ize more folks, together?