Love lost, light gained…

Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash

My precious book stash? I bet you have one, too. Books, many falling apart and saved throughout a lifetime, have a strong pull on my memory bank and heart. Uplifting, complete with lessons that helped inform my life choices, filled with language so elegiac, that I can quote from memory.

Wait, wait, it would be irresponsible of me to move on without sharing some of this bespoke wisdom😉:

• “How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.” Or, perhaps, a more serious counterpart;

• “We shall know what things are of overmastering importance when they have overmastered us.”
  ― Dorothy L. Sayers, Gaudy Night

If these quotes, over many years, have taken up permanent residence in my brain, you can see how the palpable presence of these books has become an emotional security blanket for me. One of the much-loved ones will catch my eye as I’m walking past a bookcase and I’m suddenly pulled back to another time in my life. A veritable time machine. Yes, these books.

Doing considerable work on my house and needed a break (big time) from that reality. Hunted through my well-loved book stash for a literate mystery, but with a sense of humor. (Oh, so needed a sense of humor after working on a 50+ year-old house and all its, shall we say, mysterious eccentricities.) Ah, found my book. The book spine was approaching decrepitude, but I still couldn’t recall the last time I read it. Semi-eons?? Ready to settle in, release the reins of responsibility, and escape…

Not. Not. Not.

Appalled. Just appalled. This mystery series was very popular when I sequentially devoured most of the books in the 1980s. But, now, with more seasoned eyes, all I can see is sexism and racism in the language. I’m in disbelief that I loved this series. And embarrassed. And ashamed of myself. (Ok, ok, let’s stop with the self-flagellation; you get the idea.)

How could I? How could I read and love this series? Well, I did. Why? Snappy and humorous repartee, good writing, what appeared to be a central and comedic relationship between Black and White characters, a strong woman protagonist, literary allusions, and embedded with some great lessons. What was not to like? I mean, the reading public adored them and a TV series even morphed out of the books. Hey, public acclaim!

Do I get a pass based on public acclaim? (What do you think? No!) Big sigh. I loved these books during an era when some of our cultural beliefs were antiquated and hurtful and we hadn’t yet seen the light. A goodly portion of our cultural beliefs are wondrous. Others, quite frankly, stink, but you don’t know that until after, as a young ‘un, you’ve absorbed them, hook, line, and sinker. It’s only later, listening in on your own thoughts, that you hear “Oh no, oh no, look what just passed through my mind.” So a big YAY for the beliefs handed to us from our culture that are filled with light. And an OMG(!) for those beliefs that stick their heads out of hidden crevices and go “catch me if you can.”

And I did catch the language that appalled me when I opened, with more sensitive eyes, this author’s book. I’m grateful, really grateful, to have begun the process of removing cultural cataracts that blocked my seeing of this book’s hurtful language. And let’s be honest, I’m also sad that these previously well-loved books (6 of them!) are no longer fallbacks during times when I want a nurturing and humorous read. However, the language now precludes any possibility of enjoyment during those moments when I need an emotional inner tube. Anyone want to give me a lollipop for being so grown up?

❤️Enjoy reading “This Being Human Thing?” Please consider sharing with others. Who couldn’t use more heart and humor?