It’s YOUR Life…
I’ve been thinking about this “being human” thing. Did your birthright “being human” designation come with a guidebook? Mine did. Much of what I read (or was told) while growing up, was “Should”, “Should“, “Should.” Some were mighty fine “shoulds” and others left me struggling for breath because they weren’t me and never would be.
In all honesty, I react to “shoulds” as I do to 4 letter words. Huffy, angry and stubborn. The little kid who still flourishes in me shouts “I hate shoulds!” (OK, yes, I am a tad oppositional at times.) Hmmm, let me reframe. Hating is not among my values and not a quality I would want listed in my obituary: “Jan was known for hating with a passion.” NOT (EVER.) Still, I can be quite reactive to the “should” word.
However, since I’m (mostly) an adult, I figure I’m entitled to write my own “being human“ guidebook. No parent is looking over my shoulder (not now, anyway.) Wait, wait, I lie; something IS looking over my shoulder - our culture - the originator of all those shoulds. Hey, some of these “shoulds” are vital and keep the peace in our lives. Other “shoulds”, however, don’t reflect our own personal uniqueness, but remain, like splinters, causing pain and deflecting us from our wholeness. How to move forward?
In your heart and mind, become an off-roader! That’s what! (Uh, Jan, you’re losing me…) Good ol’ Wikipedia defines “off-roading as the activity of driving on unsurfaced roads or tracks, such as sand, gravel, riverbeds, mud, snow, rocks, etc. Away from public roads.” Figuratively, off-roading in our lives explores the call of our own uniqueness, is dirty, challenging, invigorating, painful, and creative. (Keep your self-compassion handy. You may find yourself going around some sharp corners and falling off. It’s OK.) As you metaphorically off-road, the contours of the real YOU emerge and continue emerging.
Do you feel alive? Do you feel whole? Have you gotten better at listening to your heart and inner voice? With our respective off-roading capabilities and pioneering spirits, we follow paths that are twisty, sometimes dangerous, and often shrouded in fog. We’re reading the words, as best we can, in our own unique “being human” guidebooks. We are each the potters of our own lives and souls. No matter how dirty you get, remember, the dirt you sometimes feel you’re drowning in can also become the clay that shapes your own unique growth.
First posted, May 2022.