Change Can Happen
Ambling through my life today with periodic thoughts of “Who IS this person?” The person gabbing and joking with the attendants at the recycling center; stopping an older woman (older than me, anyhow) who appears lost in our neighborhood; calling county government for answers to really boring questions (but important for our neighborhood’s peace of mind); intentionally joking around with 2 FedEx carriers and thanking them for including me in their great round of laughter.
WHO is this person? OMG, it’s me! I’m the one gabbing, joking, inquiring, intervening, waving to everyone. It’s me. How did this happen? HOW?
You’re probably wondering why I sound so puzzled. I’m an introvert, for heaven sakes! Yes, me. All the activities I described above are, um, extroverted. Out in the world (rather than IN HERE, the way of the introvert.) HOW did this transpire?
My periodic Myers-Briggs personality tests over the years would never, let me repeat, NEVER, have predicted this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve all had labels applied to us at one time or another. Mine was (is?) introvert. Rather reserved, internal, revels in solitude….introvert.
But where did my raucous laugh come from? My inclination to butt into social interactions in order to juice them up to a higher level of shared laughter? To epitomize the balloon in Winnie The Pooh’s well-known quote “Nobody can be uncheered by a ballon?”
Hey, let’s take a different tack.
“Do I contradict myself?”
“Very well then I contradict myself,”
“(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
~ Walt Whitman
That would be me, often a daily, surprising, contradiction to myself. Is this a condition of our collectively being human?
As frustrating as it is for someone (like me) who wishes for the sheer consistency of behavior in my own life, Whitman’s quote grants me the possibility of ongoing growth and change. “I am multitudes.” As a youngster (or even a middle age-ster) I’ve often plagued myself with “I can’t do that,”or “only younger people can do this!” Balderdash! I’m often able to unwind many of those “can’ts” just by trying them or, what a concept, asking for help. So original, don’t you think?
Humans are multitudinous. Extrovert, introvert, whatever. As Popeye the Sailor Man, that great philosopher from the early age of cartoons said, “I Yam! (I am) What I Yam! What I Yam! I would add to Popeye’s wisdom, “I Yam What I Yam” But More, Always So Much More Than I Yam!