Healing, or chopped liver?

A tell-tale sign I live in a sports-crazy college town.…

Yes, yes, I had a spot of outpatient retinal surgery last week. Post-op, anesthesia slowly dissipating, the RN wheeled me out to my friend’s waiting car. Oh wait, even more pitiful, my surgery-impacted eye had a temporary, implanted, gas bubble covering the operated-on surface.

Oh, right, you might like to know (or maybe not) what, in heavens name, an implanted optical gas bubble is. I can only offer you my felt experience, because I was too out of it, post-op, to retain what they told me. An implanted gas bubble is the equivalent of peering through a mound of Jell-O. More specifically, a dancing mound of Jell-O, jiggling from side-to-side and up and down, whenever my body made the slightest movement. A temporary funhouse mirror, not particularly welcome in someone (like me) who is sensitive to motion sickness. O’ Dramamine, dear Dramamine, my beloved motion sickness drug of choice, where the heck were you when needed?

Returning to my outbound wheelchair odyssey. The RN, gingerly, helped this fairly out of it person to safely enter the car. She, then, leaned past me to talk with my accompanying friend. I just assumed she was sharing more post-op care instructions with him.

Not.

It transpired that she had noticed my friend’s UNC (University of North Carolina) bumper sticker and his embossed UNC ball cap. In a very concerned voice, she asked what he thought about the astonishing UNC Tarheels hire of Bill Belichick as the new college football coach.

For those not in the know (or really, really don’t care) Belichick is a six-time winning coach of the NFL Super Bowl. Great! On the other hand, he has never, ever, coached at the collegiate level. Ever.

So, there I was, fresh out of the recovery room and smack dab in the middle of an impassioned conversation about Bill Belichick’s $10 million a year contract. I did mention my sports-crazy town earlier, didn’t I?

Hey, was I chopped liver, or what?

Go Tarheels!