Get me out of here!
Please, just let me hide!
Growing up, I was often incredibly embarrassed by my mother in public places such as stores and elevators. M-o-r-t-i-f-i-e-d is more like it. Why? She always initiated conversations with people, often gathering their life stories by the time we reached our appointed floor or the checkout cashier. I can still remember shrinking deep within myself, saying nothing, looking intently at the floor, pretending I wasn’t there. (No, no, I don’t know her! Really! Get me out of here!) How could she be so nosy, so intrusive of someone else’s personal space?!
Fast forward a few hundred years and I’ve morphed into the same elevator, cashier line yakker as my mother. With the hindsight of an adult (well, mostly😉), I realize the behavior that so mortified me as a child was really a conscious, heart-centered, decision by my mother to see, acknowledge, and lift people up, on the fly, in simple ways.
Why bother to acknowledge people or let them know another human being “sees” them? Haven’t we got enough to do? Life is busy. We live in a go-go-go culture. “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”
Whoa! Taking a step back from this cultural miasma…deep breath.
Let’s try another tack. What if:
“I think our job is to see and to let ourselves be seen.”
“I think our job is to love the world.”
~ Kate DiCamillo, American children's fiction author
How do we “love the world” on the fly? How do we “love the world” across the vast array of ALL our differences?
Let’s return to the art my mother perfected so many years ago. Connecting with others in what appear to be piddling ways. Sharing the light of our attention, often for only seconds, with another person. The other feels seen and suffused with our recognition, simple though it is.
Examples, to whit:
“Hey, that’s a fabulous color on you” (Of course, you hear “Hey” and know you’re in conversation with a Southerner.)
“I love the image on your mask;
“I love your hair!”
“Is the picture on your desk from your wedding day? You both look so happy.”
“Hey, it’s wet out there. Please stay dry!”
Easy-peasy. Just be curious or observant. Doesn’t take long. Just long enough for the other person to feel seen, a form of caring, a form of loving. I have absolutely no idea what the other’s belief system might be, but in that moment we’ve connected across any differences we may have.
Go forth and love the world with these simple and quick connections.
And, mom, although you’re long gone, the seed you planted finally grew.
Please feel free to share.
Lovely! and true!