My darn brain…

This being human thing…

It’s hard, hard, hard.

My deeply-held values meet my brain’s eons-old inherited neuroscience-based reality.

Sigh.

I (proudly) have a bumper sticker affixed to my car, “Love Thy Neighbor - No Exceptions.” Uh-huh. Try this little experiment. Follow the bumper sticker’s suggestion of loving each friend and neighbor who comes to mind. I flame out, with embarrassment, (good peace-loving Quaker that I am) usually in the first 1-2 minutes. Why you ask? Let’s just lay it on the line. My brain’s inherited neuroscience-based reality intrudes. Of course, since we’re all humans, it’s your inherited reality too.

Inherited?? Huh? What’s the nature of a reality that undermines “loving thy neighbor?” My personal reality is that of one who judges - others - a lot. (Cringe. It’s difficult to out myself. I really, really want to be perfect. Next life…)

Back to this innate judging “reality” thing which stampedes right over my hoped-for values of loving my neighbors (and also the capacity to demonstrate my sterling character to others😉.)

First, there’s this teeny-tiny problem with my brain. I’m innately primed to judge others so I can move safely through the world. Safely? Our collective human story goes back millions of years when survival was based on split-second judgments about predators  - which ones I could eat and which ones could eat me. “Oh, no, get me out of here! Jeez, look at those sharp teeth!” Our brains continue to be primed regarding protecting us from predators.  And making snap judgments about others (predator/non-predator) is still a hard-wired part of our modern brains.

Getting down to brass tacks, we’re primed to look for the negative (sabertooth tigers or whatever the modern version might be) because quick judgments of BAD are what kept us alive millions of years ago and remain part of our brain’s mainframe today. Paying attention to “loving my neighbor,” but not the charging Tyrannosaurus Rex, probably didn’t bolster my chances of survival eons ago. You got it?

So what’s a “Love Thy Neighbor - No Exceptions” bumper sticker kind-of-gal to do with, yes, an eons-old, reactive, brain mechanism, continuing to be on the lookout for threatening modern day T. Rex’s?  OK, let’s just say it, still predator-challenged, after all these years!

You ready? Be nice to myself. Yep, you read that correctly, be nice to myself. Evolution is S-L-O-W. I have a better understanding of my predator-challenged brain, but can still be driven by reactivity. However, I am human and growing my conscious awareness as best I can, minute to minute. So let’s give me a break! I work hard at this and deserve it! (You do, too.)

And, in the meanwhile, the bumper sticker “Love thy neighbor, No exceptions” may be above my current reactivity pay grade. I’d like something more in line with my present day process of SLOWLY evolving. Hmmm… what about “Humankind - Be Both?” That bar isn’t set so high…

Hey, share this heart and humor with others. They’ll be happy you did!

First posted in a different form, August, 2022.