Creating world peace, beginning at the grocery store…
Who is this person? You know, the one whose words I’m hearing, but with the sounds emanating from the vicinity of my own mouth? OMG, I’M that person!
You?
Affirmative.
You’re the one buzzing from person to person offering unsolicited (but, sweet) comments to people you don’t know? Bantering like a standup comedian (which, let’s face it, you’re not) with these same unknown folks? Is this an unexpected reincarnation wherein you died and were reborn so quickly that most missed the transition?
Nope. But, believe or not, my, shall we say, interesting behavior is allowing greater adherence to a longtime, but oh-so-challenging, value. A value that has, all-too-often, been short-circuited by my life-long capacity for quick judgments of others. What’s the value? “Only connect” from E.M. Forster, a 20th century, English novelist (a wonderful remnant from high school days that I’m finally growing into.)
That’s nice, but what does “only connect” mean? OK, let’s get the stuffy version out of the way first and then segue to my colloquial version. 😉The importance of connection between people, across all sorts of barriers, including race, class, and beliefs. Or, since I tend to prefer spiffy little nuggets of wisdom, bridge-building between people by being nice. (A little dorky-sounding, but much easier to remember, don’t you think?)
Wait, wait, what about your aforementioned “enormous capacity for judging others?” You know, that perennial obstacle to bridge-building with niceness. Is it not an important piece of this discussion?
Oh god, you would remember…
That innate conflict. Sigh. Yes, it’s true, I am a constitutional judger, probably inherent in my family’s DNA. BUT I’m learning to bypass the process.
Really?
Yep, I am. Hope abounds…
About my constitutional judgment-making reflex… The Cliff Notes version of slowing this reflex is “being nice helps other folks (and me) be nice, too.” Oh my, that’s a bit trite, isn’t it? Ordinary. Where’s the excitement, the panache, the world peace as mentioned in the title?
You ARE asking a lot.
Niceness spreads through an environs like, well, honey. One of the best parts (notice I say plural) is that my judgments are sidetracked when I, proactively, build a bridge to another, with niceness. I can sense, or inwardly hear, the approach of a judgment (oh, no!) and quickly segue to “only connect” instead. And, let’s face it, I also get high with most niceness connections. (There isn’t anything wrong with that, is there?)
Oh, you want examples? Passing a cashier filling a grocery bag and complimenting him on his unique haircut. Not sure I really like the haircut, but clearly, getting it was meaningful to him. So why not? Big smile in return. Wondering if his smile then spreads to other customers? Willing to bet it did.
And, a niceness bridge-builder actually found me, as well, while I was using the grocery store self-checkout station. Just about ready to stick my credit card in the payment doohickey. The self-checkout agent came over, waved a yellow plastic card inscribed with “senior day” and asked if I’d like a discount. Sure! I then kidded him by saying “Guess my hair (white, for heaven’s sakes) was a dead giveaway!” He WAS good! Replied “You don’t look a day over 20!” A very practiced response, but who cares, I absolutely enjoyed it. Replete with my discount and feeling high from this bridge-building encounter, I bounced into the parking lot. Smiling when I reached my car and unloaded the groceries, continued smiling while I returned the shopping cart to its appropriate holder. Wow, that smile was still in evidence as my car and I toddled home…
World peace? Probably not, but seeding it’s ground, beginning with the grocery store, is a step in the right direction.