Chat ‘em up. (You’re not serious, are you?)
Chat ‘em up!
What?! Chat who up? Why are we even talking about this? Seems just so….trivial.
Not trivial. But you do need to trust me on this. Could you do that?
Begrudging trust is materializing. Go for it.
Now consider this. Let’s say I walk into a church or temple group or, for that matter, any sort of meeting, and I’m ignored. No one touches base with me, or even says “hi!” It’s as if I’m a see-through ghost, or a possible random piece of furniture that one tends to circumvent. Wow, do I feel lonely! Unseen. Maybe embarrassed. Kind of wooden, not knowing what to do with myself. Have you been there? Don’t fib to yourself or those of us reading this, of course you’ve been there. Sadly, this ‘you’re invisible’ phenomenon is a regular experience of being human. Of course, if I was Robert Redford or Julia Roberts, after the initial shock of seeing me, I’d be mobbed!
Given, however, that I’m just plain ‘ol Jan, and you don’t know me, I’m invisible. Pretty much ignored. Not much of a welcome for this human attending a meeting among other humans, is it?
And here it comes. The promised “chat ‘em up” stuff. Hey, suddenly, someone, anyone, comes over to briefly chat with me in this, apparent, social desert. (Hallelujah!) And, thank heavens, my chat-er upper has the good sense to talk about simple things, not ranting about their personal life or sharing gossip. (What a relief!) Let’s face it, this is entirely surface talk, and it may even be about the weather, for heaven’s sakes, but you know what, I feel acknowledged. Suddenly I find myself breathing more easily. Hey, it’s great not being treated as an inert piece of furniture to be avoided. We, humans, tend to appreciate being acknowledged and seen. Come on, admit it!
Uh oh, I’m going to throw the R word at you now. Research. Yep, that word. Regarding small talk, also known as chatting up, those R word folks have actually studied it! (Amazing to me that they received grants for this, but I’m so glad they did.) Small talk “enhanced daily positive emotions at work, heightened citizenship behaviors and enhanced well-being at the end of the workday.” Oh, come on now, is this not cool, or what! Chatting someone up is an upper, an easy way to strengthen their sense of belonging to our human culture.
If you run into me at gas station’s checkout counter, I’m the one who’s briefly chatting up the cashier. And you know what, I love seeing her eyes light up with this human acknowledgement, that she’s not just a machine operator behind a counter. Uh, oh, I forgot to mention: at the grocery checkout counter, my MD office’s reception desk, and that beat just goes right on. I am an avowed dealer in chatting up. Who would have thought….