A skill set I could do without…

I don’t know about you, but there are some skill sets I’d like to completely slough off. At the moment, I’m asking myself if “victimhood“ is truly a skill set. (“Oh no, look what’s happening to me!  Pay attention to me! I’m hurting.”) After due consideration, my answer is yes. I’ve been, periodically, an artiste practicing victimhood - consciously and unconsciously.

First, let’s be clear, I am in no way making fun of people impacted by victimhood. We are all, to some extent, victims living in a world of many hurts, some more or less than others. Having made liberal use of victim status as a tool to draw attention to myself when feeling empty inside or sorry for myself, I know how easy it is to succumb to the temptation of misusing victimhood. (What an incredibly long sentence!)

Utilizing the victim magnet as a way to re-focus attention on myself obscures my unique light. I’m rather fond of my singular light, having spent a lifetime finding, growing, and embracing it. Whether you’ve spent a lifetime, half a lifetime, or just enough time, consciously growing your light, it’s a gift to the world and yourself. And, as I continually relearn (one of those eternal lessons) no matter what darkness has befallen me, my light still lives. But I forget that. And then there’s always the victim tool which I can wield to garner attention from others…

BUT,  other people are not always available. (What the heck is wrong with people when they’re not available to succor me?!) Oh, but wait, there is someone available.

Me.

Huh?

I said “me.”

To succor and comfort yourself?

You betcha!

Oh. That doesn’t sound very satisfying. I want someone else to actually be present for me. To help assuage my sorrows.

Wait, wait, did you know offering presence to yourself is like winning the lottery?

You didn’t know that?

Let me share with you the tale of a recent afternoon drive, all the while dueling with a siege of victimhood.

No need to be specific, just that I felt very PUT UPON by all the tasks I was doing unwillingly, very unwillingly. Oh, I could just feel myself sliding into feeling sorry for myself. But someone was available to support me in warding off my victim mentality…

Me!

I decided to focus on the hills I was driving over. Sadly, I’m usually totally oblivious. I could hear a joyful “Whee!”, in my mind, going down one hill and up the next. “Whee!” I began to have fun. More “Whee’s!” Then I saw it! The car in front of me had a “Michigan. Go Blue!” sticker on its bumper! My alma mater. A bit like finding a needle in the haystack of ALL the Carolina and Duke fans among whom I live. Now, I was excited. Wondered if I could catch the car, roll down my window, and shout “Go Blue!” Sigh, did not happen but, thank heavens, by then I’d already stepped off the summit of Mt. Victimhood and settled back into my grounded life. What a relief.

Go Blue! (And yay, Jan.)

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