A brief guide to escaping a morass
I never, ever, imagined that automated phone systems would become an ongoing path to spiritual enlightenment for me. But it’s true….
Not meaning to brag or anything, I think you’d find that I’m a truly nice person. In conversation and on social media, I hold strong values about not contributing to cesspool-like dialogues. (Yay, me!) However, verbal dumpster diving can be so satisfying, so cutting-down-to-size, and often, so full of, let’s be honest, @&!$!*’s. None of these behaviors, or so I thought, were on my chosen values list. (Dream on, Jan.)
Thanks to our hereditary, millions of years old, threat-response brain, any Tyrannosaurus Rex-like challenge becomes a case for all out-survival; values be damned. Oh, wait, Tyrannosaurus rex? Please, excuse me! I’ve been told those fierce critters aren’t around anymore. Today, it’s the ferocious beasts of differing opinions, political beliefs, religious differences, gender issues, and gosh, even “How can you possibly eat that?!”
Also….
….. the uncompromising jungles of automated phone systems. Trapped! That’s the modern day culprit of my powerlessness in the face of a charging sabertooth tiger. Get me outta here! Worst case scenario, especially coming from the mouth of a Quaker pacifist, lots of shouted @&!$!*’s and “I’m gonna kill you!” (You won’t tell on me, will you?) I just want to speak with a live human….
Sigh. So embarrassing. So very human. I absolutely lose control of myself in the purgatory of automated phone systems. With a real-live human heart, I don’t. My values, so inclusive of civility, are laid to waste. I just head for the bottom of the barrel. The v-e-r-y bottom. Absolutely mortifying to me. Head hanging in disgust at my post civility-deprived interlude via an unhearing automated phone system.
As a dear old friend of mine said when I was clearly ‘in a mood’, “What gives?” I sat down to think about that recently after one of my automated phone system tirades.
It’s my brain. Harking back to our millions of years old threat response brains, and pointing my finger. “You’re at fault!” How could I have forgotten to share that our collective human brains tend to respond negatively to any outside stimuli, any at all. “Our brains became teflon for the positive and velcro for the negative.” Being alert to the negative kept us alive and having a good ol’ time often left us ignoring life-threatening events. Whoops, I’m dead…..
Bingo! Yep, I may feel absolutely powerless in the face of a charging sabertooth tiger. (Wouldn’t you?) But an automated phone system is not going to wrangle my nerves every, single, time. Nope.
Reminder to self: I always manage to find a human voice in what seems like an impenetrable system. Always. Before my hereditary threat brain’s yelling and screaming is triggered, I do have a choice. Every automated phone system is not trying to eat me (I don’t think.) I can breathe (what a concept), not throw a hissy fit, and know that somewhere in that byzantine mess, a real human voice lurks. That’s always been the case, but I forget when I’m triggered. Oh heavens, my blood pressure will just be so happy…